


Love always comes

by Secret_jester



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Adorable Jester Lavorre, Caleb has issues, F/M, a hint of beauyasha, caleb pining, just pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:13:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22556143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secret_jester/pseuds/Secret_jester
Summary: He has loved her for a long time, she has loved him for too long. Will they finally talk about it?This is just lots of fluff and pining.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 2
Kudos: 56





	Love always comes

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in years, I hope you like it and if you don‘t please tell me what went wrong without being too harsh.

Life was full of surprises, both pleasant and cruel. Some days it took everything away and some days it brought only light to your life but Caleb‘s life was full of pain and darkness that almost let no hope come to him. He was the proof that sometimes life took and took from someone that didn‘t deserve more than that, or so he thought. According to him there had to be a happy person somewhere, someone so good they deserved all the good things that that cruel life could give and that person should never cross his path.

Oh how cruel life was, he thought now that he had found that bright person that could light up a room with a smile. That person that he had never deserved to meet stood by his side in battles and life. She had arrived to his life with so much energy and force he could barely breathe and he didn‘t know if life was just being cruel with her for sending such a dark human to her life. The redhead could only take a breath to continue without drowning in his feelings.

The wizard looked from the distance at that little tiefling who had caused him such a wave of emotions “do you love her?“ Yasha had asked and it had terrified him to hear those simple words because he had avoided to think. Silly man, he always thought far too much and far too fast to avoid that question. She smiled and the answer came again. How could anyone not love her? Jester was light and warm, she was as strong as thunder and as beautiful as the sky. She was all he could never have and all he could desire at the same time.The cleric was the kind of person would be stupid not to love and he was just another person that had fallen under her spell.

She danced and turned as the night came, the brightest smile on her lips. Travelercon had been all she had wanted and it was clear in her laugh. Jester never stopped dreaming and still the life she lived was more than she could have asked for. Sure, she had cried and suffered but it was moments like that one, where the moon shined on her and she saw her friends around her that she was thankful. The traveler and life had given her so much.

He was hypnotized by her and as much as he wanted to hide it it was impossible. He got lost in her blue skin and the way her laugh sounded. It was hard to avoid to just stare in awe when someone like her stood so near. He finished another drink, he engaged in a short conversation with Nott, but his eyes always returned to her. No one could know how he felt, but he just had to look at her for a moment, and then another. He could pretend he didn‘t feel the way he did, but it was in moments like that, when she was just Jester that he couldn‘t stop himself from showing how much he adored her.

Happiness was something Jester held closely, and she was so happy then. Her head turned to her new family, everyone seemed happy and a bit drunk, but her eyes didn‘t stop there. She had danced and played all day, each member of the Mighty Nein had a turn to laugh while they danced, all but one. Caleb was in a corner, drinking and looking at their friends with a small smile only he could give, so full of mixed feelings and so much pain… Her heart squeezed with the look in his eyes, always so broken. But that night would be different, she told herself as she walked towards him with determination in every step.

Their paths had crossed a long time ago, but when they were close again both were still a bit taken back. He looked straight at her hand as she said “Cayleb, you owe me a reaaally long dance, you know?“ if that woman only knew the way his heart sped up and his mind stopped when she told him, she would probably move away, creeped out by her brooding friend. Still, when he looked at her face so full of excitement he had to nod. Just a dance could be too much for him, but he could face even his worst social fears for just one smile from her.She took his hand and pulled him up, and gods, he was lost in the wave that was Jester Lavorre.

She put her hand on his shoulder, they had danced before, but now it felt different. The way his cheeks were flushed but not because of the alcohol made hers turn a bit blue and she thanked it was already late because if she could see his blue eyes so close in a better light she would be a blushing mess. Jester was inexperienced and romantic, she had read many books and knew all about love, but when she looked at him, she wondered if she really knew a thing at all. “I‘m a really bad dancer, Jester“ he whispered and she could swear her heart stopped beating for a second. It was what he did, one time he said she changed people, but he couldn‘t see he had changed her.

He held her waist hesitating to even dare to hold her in fear of ruining the moment. He had barely started holding her when she started moving in silence. She didn‘t say a thing, and he was lucky because he wouldn‘t be able to answer if she did. 

So they danced, no music, no silence either. It was nothing like what she read, no romantic setting, just them in a volcano with their friends around them and still she didn‘t want anything else. Caleb looked at her, his brain was lost counting steps and freckles. He was the luckiest man in the world for just a moment all because he held her. She looked into his eyes and smiled, and he smiled back. She wondered if she could just freeze time and keep that smile on his face because, Traveler, she wished she could make him smile all the time.

Life took many things away, and someone had to give and as they danced he could see some things he already knew. It had taken all from him and then given many other things, and for her it gave and gave but it had also taken a lot. The scars on her skin and the slight loss of glim in her eyes were the proof. Jester gave and gave too, all the time she handed smiles, happiness and love without showing much other than her positive feelings. He pressed his forehead against hers and slowed down their dance. If he was better maybe he would be able to hold her and tell her it was okay to show more… if he had been enough, but he wasn‘t.

It was tough to be who they were, but only a few had suffered as much as the wizard. His eyes showed a broken soul and still, he had brightened up her world. He reassured her when no one else could see past her happy mask and he just made her happy in ways he would never understand. So, with his head against hers she took all the confidence she had left as her heart pounded against her chest. Her hand shook softly as she whispered “Cayleb…“ he looked into his eyes and she knew, this smart man had made her happy when she was about to break, he had cheered her up when she wanted to cry. He was terrifying in the way that she lost all confidence when they were alone and now that she tried to tell him she couldn‘t. The woman who talked all the time, that had tricked a scary hag with her charm and wit seemed to lose it all. “I like you. Like, like I like you like more than a friend, you know?“ but it was so much more she couldn‘t put into words. It was a friendship that had evolved so much now he was in her daydreams and his face filled her journal. He made her heart jump and spin, it made her go mad and it brought peace. She was head over heels for a man that would probably would never look at her as more than a friend and in a moment full of emotions she had told him. She took a risk she regret because if she lost him now she didn‘t know what she would do.

Caleb couldn‘t breathe, if life was playing with him this would be just another cruel blow, but when blinked she was still there, her eyes filling with worry as the seconds passed without him even moving. But how could he react when it all felt like a dream or a really sick hallucination. Jester, the strong cleric obsessed with romantic books had just said she liked him and there was no way he could believe it. As fast as his brain worked it just couldn‘t find an answer. 

She waited, but with each second it hurt more. He would never like her back and all she did was talk like she always did, she talked too much and now her eyes were filling with tears “It‘s o...“ she started but he raised his hand to stop her. The look of hurt returned to his eyes, but now it almost seemed worse “You can‘t, Jester“ she just couldn‘t, she shouldn‘t care about a monster like him. He was broken beyond repair and as hard as he tried he would never be what she deserved “I‘m… I‘m a monster and y-you, you‘re you“ his voice got lower, regret and hurt sinking in it and she just looked at him. Caleb was a broken man, anyone could see that, but he couldn‘t see how much more he was.

“You‘re wrong Cayleb“ she whispered and touched his cheek like it was as fragile as porcelain. He leaned into the touch, his eyes closing to avoid tears from showing in his eyes “oh, liebling, you are too good“ but she wasn‘t, she wasn‘t being good, she was being honest and… she teared up and hit his chest softly.

“Jester, I will never be enough“ he said and the heartbreak was so strong she felt it in his voice so she just hugged him tightly, hoping maybe if she held him tightly enough some part of him would notice how worthy he was “You are an idiot, Cayleb“ she whispered. If he could only see the way she saw him, if he only knew how much she loved him… “You are smart, funny, charming and not stinky at all“ she heard a soft laugh leave his lips and she pulled a bit away just to look at him. He looked tired and in pain as he leaned in closer.

“Blueberry, I may never be enough“ if she only knew how incredible she was, maybe she would know why he said it. But if it would make her happy, if it would make her smile, maybe he could be selfish enough to let her love him. And almost as if she felt his thoughts getting to a dark place she kissed him.

If there was a price life could ever give it would be the way it felt to have their lips together. It was a thousand sparks against their skin, and calming. There was no world other than them as the soft kiss continued and when she pulled away, her cheeks a bright purple he just knew, he knew he would never love like he loved her again. Loving her was a bright fire, risky and dangerous and yet it brought so much light with it, it was so right… The only thing he had done right by himself was being who she loved. She wasn‘t perfect, she wasn‘t just a dream, she was all sorts of crazy and she had been hurt and broken. She was strong enough to survive it and smile and he admired her, and he loved her, every single thing about her was something he had loved for a long time. So when she smiled “Cayleb“ she said “You are more than enough“ he wondered if he could be.

He put held her close and that was enough for her to understand, maybe today he wouldn‘t be able to accept he was, but he would try. He would try for her. “I like you too, liebling“ he whispered and she could feel her heart melting. She loved him and maybe she wouldn‘t say it but she was sure he would figure it out soon. When she was ready she would tell him how much he mattered, how much she had fallen for him and maybe then, maybe then he would be ready to see he was enough.

Yasha had been looking at him for a long time before, and even if she didn‘t push it she knew. It was clear for anyone who looked at him how smittened he was by their friend. So that night, after Travelercon, as they danced she looked again. Her hand went to her chest, and she was reminded one more time saying what you felt mattered, it mattered a lot. She smiled and thanked her wife for loving her, for existing as a new love surfaced. Maybe she would tell her new love someday, but for now, seeing Caleb and Jester she was happy.


End file.
